What am I doing here?

I have had a lot of different jobs. My family even makes it a game to see if they can count all the different places I have worked. It’s quite a few and to be honest, I don’t know if I can remember them all. Good thing I update my resume as I go along.  

But my career has always stayed the same. Marketing. Sure, it has evolved over time. I started at a print shop getting documents print-ready and seeing them come off the presses. I still remember the smell of ink. Mmmm.

Desktop publishing grew to design. Print grew to digital. Websites grew to social media. It’s amazing looking back at the different positions, different bosses, different desks and offices I have had. I wish I kept a business card from each job. That would be a neat collection to have.

Over the years, at weird times, I always have a thought that comes to mind. One particular question always came to mind. “What am I doing here? What’s the point?”  Ok, that’s two questions but they mean relatively the same thing.

I think I had these thoughts because I never really felt fulfilled. It was a job. No passion. No complete interest in what I was doing. Sure, I learned a lot along the way about different industries and causes. I did care about my role. I still care about the refineries in Texas and children’s education. But there wasn’t that fire-burning passion in my gut that I wanted. That I needed.

That’s why I moved on to the next job. I was searching for something but wasn’t sure what it was. I got to travel to some interesting locations and meet pretty neat people along my journey. I learned lessons and have many failures and successes over the years.

But there was more out there. I could feel it.

Maybe it was to see what kind of boss to be - and not to be. I certainly came across the assholes, the narcissists and the complete push-overs. I also worked for those that would throw anyone under the bus just as long as they came out on top. But I also had the strong women, the men who respected everyone, the serious yet silly ones and the ones who knew I could do my job without having my hand constantly held. Yes, learning different leadership types has been eye-opening and educational.

I definitely know my array of jobs has led to me to where I am now. The skills and knowledge, learning my strong points and my weaknesses. My colorful resume has given me the courage to become an entrepreneur.

But more than anything, my job hopping led me to the people that I needed at that time. The people that really made a difference. The committee members who made sure I had a healthy pregnancy. The co-worker who pushed the fax button to start my divorce proceedings. The contractor who worked in the cafe and later became my life partner. The team leader who asked me why I didn’t treat myself better than I would my best friend. The assistant who made me realize a job shouldn’t be miserable and make you cry every single night. The manager who made sure I received holiday pay when my dad landed in the hospital. The women who invited me into their book club when I needed kindness and friendship.

You may not know it at the time, but you just may be that person for someone. You may have changed someone’s life without even knowing it. Be kind.

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